Campfire Ritual

A Reflective Campfire Ritual for Letting Go & Holding On

As the weather starts to cool and we may find ourselves at a campfire with our friends, I wanted to offer a ritual that can help ground us and evaluate what we want to let go in this changing season. Just like the leaves begin to fall and make room for new life, so can we let our unhelpful thoughts go and make space for what truly is helpful for our minds. Enjoy!

Sometimes, when we go through something painful, we end up carrying things that were never meant to be ours.

Words someone said to us.

Expectations we placed on ourselves.

Guilt.

Anger.

Fear.

Shame.

Stories about who we are or what we should be.

Questions that don’t have answers yet.

And sometimes, we also carry beautiful things through difficult seasons: memories, lessons, love, values, hopes, and parts of ourselves that we don’t want to lose.

The Fire Knows is a simple reflective activity that gives you the opportunity to decide what you want to carry forward—and what you are ready to release.

The goal isn’t to erase what happened. It’s to recognize that you get to choose what gets to stay with you.

What You’ll Need

• A safe campfire, fire pit, or fireplace

• Small pieces of paper

• A pen or pencil

• A few quiet moments

  
  

Always follow appropriate fire-safety practices and have an adult supervise children around fire.

Step 1: Notice What You’re Carrying

Take a few minutes to think about the things you’ve been carrying lately.

You don’t have to figure everything out. You don’t have to make sense of it all.

Just notice.

You might begin each piece of paper with one of these sentence starters:

“Sometimes I tell myself…”

“A thought that keeps showing up is…”

“I feel like I have to…”

“I worry that…”

“I wish I could stop thinking about…”

“Someone once told me…”

“When I make a mistake, I tell myself…”

“When someone is upset with me, I think…”

“Something I feel responsible for is…”

“I wish I didn’t have to…”

“A part of me believes…”

“A part of me is afraid that…”

Don’t worry about making the answers sound good. Write whatever comes to mind.

Step 2: Decide What You Want to Carry

Now look at what you’ve written.

For each thought, message, feeling, or belief, ask yourself:

Do I want to KEEP this?

Some things are worth carrying.

Maybe it’s:

• A memory of someone you love

• A lesson you’ve learned

• A value that’s important to you

• A part of your identity

• A hope for your future

• Something you know to be true about yourself

  
  

If it feels like something you want to continue carrying, keep the paper.

You might say:

“This is something I want to take with me.”

Step 3: Decide What You’re Ready to Let Go Of

Some things may feel heavy.

Maybe it’s a belief that tells you you’re not good enough.

Maybe it’s guilt for something that wasn’t your responsibility.

Maybe it’s someone else’s expectations.

Maybe it’s a sentence you’ve heard so many times that you’ve started saying it to yourself.

Maybe it’s the belief that you have to make everyone happy.

Maybe it’s the feeling that you have to fix something you didn’t break.

If you’re ready, place that paper into the fire.

As you watch it burn, you might say:

“I don’t need to carry this anymore.”

Or simply:

“I release this.”

You don’t have to feel completely ready. You don’t have to feel peaceful. You don’t even have to know exactly what comes next.

The act of releasing is simply a way of saying:

“This does not have to define me.”

Step 4: You Can Also Choose “Not Yet”

Not everything needs to be kept or released.

Some things are complicated.

Some questions don’t have answers yet.

Some feelings are still changing.

Some relationships are still unfolding.

And that’s okay.

For those things, create a third category:

NOT YET

You might say:

“I’m not ready to let this go.”

“I’m still figuring this out.”

“I don’t know what I believe yet.”

“I can come back to this later.”

You don’t have to force yourself to reach closure before you’re ready.

Sometimes healing means allowing yourself to say:

“I don’t know yet.”

Step 5: Notice What Remains

After the fire, take a moment to notice what you chose to keep.

What did you decide was worth carrying?

What does that tell you about what matters to you?

You might complete these sentences:

“I want to remember that I am…”

“I want to keep…”

“I am allowed to…”

“Something that is not mine to carry is…”

“Something I want to believe about myself is…”

“Going forward, I want to…”

You might even choose one sentence to write on a card and keep somewhere meaningful.

The Fire Doesn’t Change the Past

The fire cannot change what happened.

It cannot erase someone’s choices or undo painful experiences.

But it can represent something important:

You don’t have to carry every message, belief, expectation, or burden that came from your past.

You get to examine what you’ve been carrying.

You get to decide what still belongs to you.

You get to keep the things that reflect who you are and what you value.

And you can slowly release the things that no longer serve you.

It knows how to transform what we release.

And sometimes, healing begins when we realize:

“I can choose what I carry forward.”

Written by Rachel Moss, LPCC